Passing is a term largely used in Trans culture and lexicon. It is when a Trans person is so successful at their transition that they “pass” for the gender that they want to live as. However, if you ask any Trans person, passing is not just about looking the way that you want to look. It is about smaller things that we do not consider every day. It is training your voice to match your gender, adjusting your gait and hand gestures, changing your vocabulary, your cadence, training yourself how to laugh, or hold everyday items. It is all of these things at once, all the time, while engaging the rest of the world as if it is not on your mind at all.
The more Cis gender you appear, the less threatening you are to others. For homophobic persons, spotting and exposing an LGBTQ person, makes them feel like they have uncovered a sinister conspiracy, at least that is how it comes across to me. I do not claim to speak for every person of trans experience, but mostly people want to pass, because passing gives you safety.
Many gay bisexual and lesbian persons use this concept of passing to conceal their sexual orientation. If you can pass as heterosexual, it makes navigating the world much simpler. In my youth I was obsessed with passing, because I could not live with the constant psychological abuse and outing. The abuse took the forms of the person on the corner who would yell out “you is ah fagget awah?”, the co-worker who would sing batty man songs every time you pass by, the neighbour who would turn up the music to obscene levels when an anti-LGBT song was playing, the teacher who would go on a homophobic rant in the middle of a lecture, the taxi driver who would slow down only to drive off as they got a good look at you, the guys in the community who think it is funny to throw stones at your house, or the drunk fellah in the fete who would senselessly pick a fight with you.
The task of simply going about your life, becomes a mine field of mini considerations. A series of everyday micro crises, without consideration for the very real everyday crisis that life throws your way. This is what is referred to as minority stress. If you live in or have to navigate unsafe spaces passing might afford you some privileges experienced by heterosexuals, and, as I learned and accepted, passing also has its limitations. The act of passing is an unspoken pressure to constantly defend your right to exist in your own environment. When we pass, they do not see us. The general public is often shocked when PRIDE comes around. They want to know where all these LGBTQ people come from? Truth is, “we come from right here”. It is just unsafe for some of us to carry our plums and feathers.
I remember going to a bar in St. James and looking at the interactions of the guys around me, thinking that we police masculinity to such irrational degrees, that in some respects heterosexual men are just trying to “pass” as extra masculine in front of their friends and for the attention of women. The greater the masculine performance the greater the need to protect their insecure manhood. This may be stretching it a bit, but you see where I am going? This is why we in the LGBTQ community joke that the biggest homophobes are usually closeted LGBTQ persons or latent homosexuals.
Living one’s true authentic self is one’s personal liberation. To be seen and accepted for who one is, gives one permission to trust and be trusted. None of us should have to hide who we are for fain acceptance, from people who we believe really hate us. Men and women who do not fit the perfect mould are no less human from those that do, and you should not let any pretender make you believe that you must justify your humanity.
Written by: Luke Sinnette for a Friends For Life project with funding through the CARICOM-PANCAP/CVCCOIN Multi-Country Caribbean Regional Global Fund Project
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